I have a cold.
It's not anything ridiculous or life-threatening, but I feel, sound, and look icky. It slows down a normally hyperactive day and forces me to get the kind of rest that is needed and helpful, but frequently put off.
I find that when I am sick and in bed, I give myself time to meditate and have longer, more meaningful times with the Lord in between nose blowing and coughing. Some of my most memorable lessons and corrections from God have come in those times and it seems I always get sick at the wrong time which tends to be the right time.
When life gets busy and I'm off trying to take over the world (perhaps trying to 'save' the world is a better description), the first thing to go is my alone time with the Father. Whether it's because I go to bed late working on something and can't wake up early enough or because I even schedule things during that morning hour, I default to saying quick prayers in the shower and in the car, and reading a passage in between the to-do items on my never ending lists.
Then, suddenly, my throat hurts. I immediately whine in my heart and say that I don't have time to be sick. I don't have time for a few extra hours of rest.
'...Not now, Lord. I have to finish this or that. Then we will spend tons of time together...'
But busyness is quite an addiction. I'll have a time of overwhelming things to plan and prepare for. I go full force, leaving behind many and much. I start accomplishing tasks and I want to do more! It creates a desire to go to bed every night with the feeling of having finished much. So that even when one busy 'season' or week is over, I somehow find myself in another busy season and that needed longer time with the Lord doesn't come.
Now, I am a believer in praying without ceasing. Pray all day, for everything. Before teaching a class, before eating a meal, before having a conversation. Brief times of asking Jesus for wisdom to teach, love to give, grace to speak. And many, many times of thanking Him for the simple things that are there day after day. But...
Extended alone times with Him are crucial. My soul craves them. My life is built on them. Times of sitting and soaking and crying and laughing...with Him. Times of restoration and rememberance. And just when I have this terrible need I get sick.
I always wonder if it's the Lord at work in that, though I'm sure many would disagree that it's biblical for Him to grant me the gift of a temporary cold for me to be with Him. I won't go as far as to say that. But I will say that Psalm 23, one of my favorite passages to meditate on, says,
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul." 1-3a
I realize that He really does lead me and make me lie down. He makes a way for me to find my rest in Him again and again. He feeds me with His word and restores my soul. I suddenly remember how fascinating and glorious He is and how precious this gift of salvation is and how great a calling I have to be a minister of reconciliation and my strength is renewed. So, paradoxically, I often feel the strongest when I'm sick. As though God delighted to display His power in my weakness. :)
Whatever it takes, Lord.
